confessions of a philosophy major
I have a confession to make. God has recently revealed to me me an area in which I need to become more broken. God wants all of me and this includes my mind. He has shown me that the God I talk about in class and the God I talk to are not quite the same. I have tried to fit him into my systematic ideas about him. Worst of all, I have talked to people as if I know something. I care more about being right than helping others see God. I pray that God would truly break me in each of these areas. I want to be able to search out the deeper things of his character that he wishes to show me instead of creating my own philosophical God that fits with my system. It is time to hand my philosophy of God over to God himself.
I realized yesterday as I reflected on some of the conversations that I had in my Philosophy of Religion class that the God that I was talking about in order to make sound arguments had radically different characteristics from the God I talk to. The embarrassing fact is that I doubt I could argue very well about the God I know, because I don’t understand him very well. Perhaps I should swallow my pride and accept this. Perhaps I need to know more about God.
I used to think I had it all figured out. I could tell you all about freewill, salvation or the Holy Spirit. I could tell you why certain doctrines are right or wrong. Lately God has taught me not to care. What he wants to teach me about himself doesn’t fit nicely into my systematic theology and often has little to do with the topics that are so popular in Christian discussions. As God was showing me a few things the other day, I caught myself saying back, “but God you can’t be like that because…” I think we can all see the problem with this.
This would all be a personal problem between me and God if it weren’t for the fact that it shapes the way I relate to others. It is easy for me to sacrifice the truth that someone needs to hear in order to win the debate. I must be sensitive to the Spirit in order to minister to people’s needs. In order to do this effectively, two things must happen. First, I must become broken in my pride and what I think I know. I must put my mind on the shelf and be all right with being intellectually humiliated. Second, I must search out the truth about God. I must get on my knees and really come to know him. I must let the word of God speak to me. I must come to know the wisdom of God which is the foolishness of man.
All of this is a personal confession of areas in which I need to grow. I am not calling anyone or any group of people out on this other than myself. However, I hope that the things that God has shown me recently will speak to you as well and make you think about your own relationship with him. Please pray for me that I will be more broken.
Billy Henderson wrote:
Dan,
While the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, fear of ourselves is the second step.
God drew Moses out of the water and raised him in Pharoah’s court. Next, Moses in his own strength thought he could deliver his brethren. God then lead him into the wilderness and kept him there until “his tongue was thick and he could not speak.” Then, God returned him to Egypt and worked “through” him to deliver his people.
The thrill of our ability can be intoxicating. The knowledge of God’s work through us brings sweet freedom to us and those around us.
Let God have His way in you and pray the same for me.
I must decrease so He may increase.
Posted on 08-Jul-07 at 9:56 pm | Permalink
Keren wrote:
Delightful, Dan.
I’ve been reading through the first section of First Corithians as well – over and over actually.
I cannot boast the mind of a philosopher but have recently run into several university educated “philosophers” – in my opinion the most contradictory group of minds now harrassing their fellow creatures. Poor souls!
And I can’t help but connect this to the quote you used from Pascal: “the heart has reasons which reason knows nothing of.†And since our hearts are filled with the Spirit of God, we can be completely confident in those reasons.
I will be praying that you find joy in imparting words “not taught by human wisdom but by the Spirit.”
Very exciting!
Posted on 09-Jul-07 at 1:54 pm | Permalink
A Browser wrote:
Carry your experience to the extreme, multiply by hundreds of years and centuries of myth making and come to the realization, nay the fact that god is what man defines it as, god is therefore nothing than the creation of man, it’s a myth…. I prefer the Emperor Julian II, he’s a true martyr to the tragedy of the West
Posted on 27-Jul-07 at 7:41 pm | Permalink
Dan Sheffler wrote:
No, I think that misses the point. I understand where your coming from. But if God was something only in my head then I wouldn’t really have a problem. The issue is that there is a disconnect between the very real God that I experience and the God that I like to talk about because it is easy to make postulates off of him.
Posted on 29-Jul-07 at 8:58 pm | Permalink