“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” –1 Peter 5:6-7

I don’t really believe that verse. I know I believe in the Bible, but I guess I don’t believe the Bible when it tells me this. At least you wouldn’t think so by the way I live sometimes. A lot of problems arise in the Christian life when we don’t really trust God. We think that what he wants from us is oppressive and not really for our own good. There are sometimes areas in my life that I want to hold onto. I clench my fist around these like a child, but God has been a father for a long time, and he knows how to pry my fingers open.

The verse above tells us that we should give all our worries to God because he cares for us. I worry about things a lot. It must be because I don’t really trust God. I worry because I want a life for myself. I worry because I want to be comfortable in the future. I worry because I want to take care of my needs. I don’t want to listen to God telling me to let go of this, because I think he doesn’t really know how to care for me. Either that or he doesn’t really love me.

On Saturday, my good friend Stephan preached a great sermon. In it, he told us that Jesus didn’t die so that we wouldn’t have to. Jesus died to show us that there is life on the other side. The same power that brought Jesus Christ back from the dead is now at work in us who believe. Do I really believe that? How much do I stake on that claim?

I’m happy to give God all the parts of my life that I don’t care about. He can keep everything that I don’t like about myself. My sin, my selfishness, my wasted time. Of course I want him to make me a better person. I suppose it is rather like handing God the leftovers of my life and expecting him to do the dishes. But when it comes to big stuff I start to shake. Things that I really want for myself are harder to hand over; like marriage, or a career. He tells me that he loves me, which is enough for me to get excited during a worship service, but not enough to really worship with my life. Someone once told me that the problem with a living sacrifice is that it keeps wanting to get off the altar.

Last night I had a breakthrough. I was watching Star Trek with a family from my church, and I decided that I wanted to trust God. In the past he has been perfectly faithful. I guess I had forgotten. It is time to trust in the Father. It is time to put a foot forward every day in faith. There are so many people that believe in Jesus. They will argue with you until they are blue in the face that he is the son of God, but they have forgotten to believe Jesus; to live their daily life by faith in him.