Sartre said hell was other people. I tend to think that hell is myself. It is so easy to fall into the pit of ‘me’. I’ve been a little frustrated lately because it seems like all my thoughts and feelings revolve around myself. This certainly isn’t how Jesus lived. I want to have a real heart for other people and love them unconditionally, but I can only seem to think about myself. This is a bit of a vicious cycle because the more you think about how you can change yourself to love other people you end up just thinking about your own problem. There is no way that I can free my mind from its narcissistic trap. Only Jesus is able to free us from ourselves, and that is exactly what he does.

It is very easy for us to go through our day, with all its social situations, and only think about people in how they relate to us. We think about our needs and what we can get out of them. We contemplate what we like and don’t like about them and carry ourselves in such a way that they will think well of us. This is such a widespread human trait that many philosophers have founded entire systems of ethics upon the idea that every human action is somehow rooted in selfish motives.

The human condition is deeply rooted in sin and selfishness. We are so driven by the desires of our flesh that we do good things for other people just so we can feel good about ourselves. When was the last time you were genuinely consumed with a desire to see someone else blessed with no thought to yourself?

This is not how it should be. Sure we can get along a little bit in society. We can all enter into a selfishly based social contract so that we can live with one another and get what we want out of society, but this is a far cry from the Father’s desire for his children. The kingdom of God is one in which people love each other not “in word of talk but in deed and in truth.” This doesn’t mean spending a week out of the year on missions trips and a few days a week at a soup kitchen. This doesn’t mean writing checks to charities so you can feel better about yourself. It means living your whole life dead to yourself and alive to Jesus Christ and his purposes on the earth. It means that we must “be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)

I hate it when people point out a problem in my life but don’t tell me any practical ways of fixing it. I’ve been asking God lately how to solve this basic human problem. Ultimately the answer is spiritual; we need to be saved. We need the power of Jesus Christ to help us walk in newness of life. However, that doesn’t mean that God hasn’t shown me practical steps to take to discipline my flesh.  Paul tells us in Romans 8, “If you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” Therefore, with the help of the Spirit, let us cast off the ways of our old nature.

One of the first things that God showed me that has helped to reshape my mind and its patterns of thought is to simply devote myself to praying for other people. What I don’t mean by this is making a list of requests for other people and simply asking God for all these things. It would be easy to rattle off a list of people that I know who have problems and feel good about myself. What I mean by praying for other people is really meeting with God and talking to him about his heart for these people. This is something that actually takes effort and can’t be done in 5 minutes before I fall asleep.

Another thing that can be practically done is to simply start looking out for the interests of other people. The first part of Philippians 2 is the scripture for this principle. What this doesn’t mean is going and doing charitable things like working at a soup kitchen. It is easy to make yourself feel like you care about other people when you go and dish out soup to poor people you don’t know. However, the reality of your situation is revealed when you go home and treat your mother like dirt. There is nothing wrong with feeding the poor, I encourage it, but what I mean here is taking practical steps to consider the good of people right around you in your daily life.

This kind of love is a dangerous thing to pursue. You may find out that most of the Christianity that you have been living is simply to assuage your guilty conscience and make yourself feel like a good person. You may find that you require a deeper salvation. It may mean that you have to die to yourself. It is indeed a dangerous prayer to ask the Father, “please make me more like your Son.”